A Brave Space for Students

What does it mean for a school to be a brave space for students? A brave space for families? A brave space for staff? What does a brave space even look like or sound like? I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently as we continue to tackle the challenge of helping students better understand the damage done to a school community when respect declines and hate seeps in.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if schools were safe spaces where nothing can hurt us, where we feel no discomfort, where everyone agrees. Sadly, I don’t think that type of school (or workplace) exists. Sometimes in schools, children encounter things that make them feel unsafe – an unkind word, a thoughtless act, a moment of anger or microaggression. Sometimes they experience intentional acts meant to harm. These sometimes random, often unforeseen, hopefully unintentional but nonetheless harmful things cause them pain, make them angry and diminish their feeling of safety. 

A brave space, on the other hand, is one that acknowledges the unfortunate but inevitable reality of discomfort. A brave space teaches that disagreements are unavoidable, and focuses not on rescuing the child from whatever difficult emotions may arise but on building individual and collective resilience by fostering positive intent and putting systemic support in place. A brave space allows silenced voices to be heard, ensures those most often excluded are given a seat at the table, and knows that growth comes out of moments of adversity. 

Leaders in brave spaces see challenges as opportunities for connection. They never hide from disagreement or try to defend their position. They use the difficult moment as a vehicle to listen respectfully and deeply in the service of understanding. Leaders in brave spaces hold themselves accountable for the impact of their words and actions in the space they lead, while gently holding others to account, as well. They understand the work to be challenging, exhilarating, sometimes exhausting, often frustrating, but always essential.

As parents, we want nothing more than to save our children from distress. It pains us to watch them struggle, and if you are anything like me, moving to “problem-solving superhero” mode on their behalf happens almost instantaneously and instinctively. We want to fix the problem because watching them struggle is hard.

I often think back to toddlerhood, the time when my daughter’s learning was all about falling down and getting back up, about the block tower tumbling to the ground, the fingertip burned in the birthday candle flame. (We have that last one on video and I still feel like I should have seen it coming.) Had I saved my daughter from the fall, the tumbling blocks, the flame, I would have deprived her of learning. She wouldn’t be the resilient problem-solver she is (although she might not have a lasting fear of candles.)

Author Barbara Colorosso writes on parenting, and her books have been around for decades. Her notion of allowing for “non-catastrophic failure” always stuck in my brain – this notion that failure (apart from anything that is truly going to cause immense harm) should be allowed to happen because that is where learning takes place. In some ways, I see this idea sitting gently in the middle of brave spaces because without acceptance that failure is a part of our children engaging bravely, we will never allow them the opportunity to grow.

I’ll end by sharing what researcher and author Brené Brown sees as the components of brave spaces: grace, no judgement and the ability to practice. I hope our families will join us in creating a brave space at UTS that allows us to make a difference in the lives of our children and holds us up to others as a model of high achievement, not only in academics, but in empathy and compassion, as well. 

CORRECTION: Last week I wrote that Paul Penna Downtown Jewish Day School was closed on Friday, October 13. While the Miles Nadal Jewish Community Centre was closed that day, the school was open and serving its community of students. I thank Dr. Amy Platt, Principal at Paul Penna, for notifying me of the error, and also for offering such a warm welcome to me as a new neighbour. 

Dr. Leanne Foster

UTS Principal

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