Breakfast with a Superhero

I had breakfast with a Superhero. Yes, that’s right, a real live Superhero. How many people can say that? 

Last week, I joined Marvel Comics Superhero Shang-Chi for breakfast, accompanied by UTS Co-Captains Iris and Archie. For those of you who don’t know, Shang-Chi is also known as actor and author Simu Liu, a UTS alum from the Class of 2007.

What I loved most about spending time with Simu was seeing his evident and lasting passion for UTS. The sincere interest he took in Iris and Archie, asking about their classes, their hopes for university, the state of House competitions and athletics was a testament to his kindness and the fondness he feels for our school. The conversation wasn’t about making movies or living in LA. It was about Simu’s time at UTS, the lasting friendships he forged beginning in F1 and the insight he now has about the pressures that shaped his early and spectacularly unsuccessful first career as an accountant. (Read his autobiography, We Were Dreamers: An Immigrant Superhero Origin Story, for more details on that fascinating part of his story!) 

I came away from our time together keenly aware of the need for students to learn how to identify their strengths and align them with their future plans. It made me recall a rather humorous conversation with my own daughter many years ago when she was in grade 11 and thinking about university programs. The conversation went something like this.

Olivia: “I think I want to study medicine.”

Me: “Really? What makes you think that?”

Olivia: “My marks in biology are excellent. I’m good at science and math. It makes sense.”

Me: “But what about medicine excites you?”

Olivia: …. pause .... ”I don’t know. It’s a good career.”

Me: “But why medicine?”

Olivia: .… frustrated pause ….”I don’t know. Everyone at school is aiming for something elite. I feel pressure to do the same.”

Me: “Is that a good enough reason to study medicine?”

Olivia: “No.”.... sigh of resignation ....”I don’t actually like sick people.”

At that point we had a good laugh and spent time thinking about which of her strengths actually aligned with her interests. We talked about the role peer pressure was playing in making her feel she needed to be something she was not.  She then shared the intense pressure some of her friends experienced from parental expectations, and admitted that, even though her father and I weren’t putting pressure on her, she was internalizing significant pressure because she didn’t want to “let us down” – something I hadn’t even realized she was doing. 

Simu’s story reminds us that pressure from loving and well-meaning parents or pressure from the student themselves can obscure the best path forward. In Simu’s case, pressure served to delegitimize the value of his creativity, passion for performance and skills on the stage. Not wanting to let down his parents, he forced himself into a university program and a career that was wholly unsuited for his aptitude and interests. Imagine our loss (and his) if he hadn’t been fired from his job as an accountant, an outcome that ultimately motivated him to follow his passion for performance.

As parents, we want what’s best for our children. We want them to be successful and want them to be happy. Sometimes, however, the hopes and dreams we hold for them translate (without us even knowing it) into pressure. They may believe they’ll disappoint us if they don’t follow a certain career path or apply to a certain university. They may be walking around with a weight you don’t even know they carry. 

The most important thing we can do as parents is open up the conversation, ask questions and be curious. Help your child explore their own motivations for learning, share your own story from when you were young. I believe each and every UTS student has remarkable potential to shine and also to find joy in what they do. Let’s work together to help them discover their own unique path to a lifetime of success and happiness.

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